10 Commandments for Great Self Esteem

by Deb Melton

1. Stop All Criticism of Yourself. Negative feelings can spiral and become a negative affirmation. This drains your energy and makes it harder to take action. Instead, become your own best cheerleader!

2. Don’t Scare Yourself. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts! Remember FDR? “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” And what is fear? False Evidence Appearing Real. Instead, create a mental picture or saying and put it up where you see it frequently. Mine’s “The ski’s the limit”. Use it to help switch your scary thought into a positive one.

3. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient with Yourself. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved and admired. Remember learning a new skill takes time and we are forever learning, growing, and expanding. Learning also means making mistakes a few times before the skill is mastered. Be gentle.

4. Be Kind to Your Mind. Self-hatred is only hating a thought about yourself and thoughts can be changed. Remember also that thoughts are not necessarily true. If someone said, “I hate you because you have green hair!” would that bother you? Probably not because you would think to yourself, that’s not true and

let it go. Do the same with other negative thoughts; say “that’s not true.” And let it go.

5. Praise Yourself. Praise builds up your inner spirit. Start a Victory book. Write down every little thing you did well, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Put in at least one entry per day. Read it over often. Refer to it especially when you are about to try something new or a little risky.

6. Support Yourself. Find ways to support and nurture yourself. What makes you feel good? Is it taking time for a walk with the dog? A hot bath with bubbles? A good book by the fire? Whatever it is that nurtures you, do it.

7. Be Loving to Your Negatives. Acknowledge that you created them to fill a need. Now you are learning new and positive ways to fulfill those needs, so you can lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take Care of Your Body. Pay attention to what kinds of foods, exercise and rest patterns that make you feel the best and what makes your body loose energy and vitality. Notice these and then implement a plan to increase those that energize!

9. Look Yourself in the Eye. Look in the mirror and look into your own eyes as you would a

dear friend. Smile and tell yourself what you appreciate about you. If you feel that you need to forgive yourself for anything, look yourself in the eye and say, “I forgive you for __________________.” And mean it. After all, if you could have done things differently or better at the time, wouldn’t you have?

10. Don’t Wait, Do It Now. Don’t wait to get started. Do it now. Remember, decide, plan and start. The Universe rewards ACTION! And if you need help, call me. I’m in the business of helping people become their best selves and live their best life!

Deb Melton, Singles Coach and Certified Fearless Living Coach lives in Denver and coaches singles all over the country to help them find their soulmate. Deb's philosophy is, “It’s never too late to find the love of your life and live the life you love! Deb also offers teleclasses and seminars on a variety of subjects for singles of all ages. Whether you have never been married or you are recently divorced, Deb's coaching and classes are interactive, fun and full of helpful information. Go to her website to learn more http://www.denversinglescoach.com

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