Coping with the Bipolar Child

by Sue Mueller

Any parent knows once you have been thrown into the throngs of parenting that raising children is at times an insurmountable task. Add to the mix a child with Bipolar Disorder and you have a formula for a lifetime of overwhelming feelings.

Coping with the Bipolar Child does not need to take its toll on you or your family. The key to understanding children with Bipolar Disorder is to become as fully educated on the disorder as possible, and to develop key resources and coping mechanisms within your family. It also helps if the other children, if old enough to understand, are brought into the education process and become well informed of the behaviors of their sibling.

I once had a Bipolar Student and her mother helped explain it to me this way. An adult with Bipolar Disorder rides a roller coaster through life. It has a tendency to ride a high and low over a period of about 20-30 days. However, a child with Bipolar Disorder rides the roller coaster every day. Add to that the raging hormone changes starting as early as 10 or 11 years of age, and you have a ride that is difficult to control even with medication. The medication needs monitored constantly and adjusted

regularly.

Some of the coping mechanisms that you as parents or educators can use, is to help the child lead as structured a life as possible. This helps them to not feel overwhelmed with places to go, things to do, and expectations. As parents our expectations are most often times grander than our children can handle at most times.

Helping the child to create a positive "Look What I did Today!" attitude will help to overcome the immense feelings of failure. Focus on one or two things that could get done during their low periods. This gives them a goal for the day. By the same token, be ready and prepared to "reel" them in, if their grand ideas or desires become to high in the sky for them to attain. For this it is a good idea to find a creative outlet to help them through this high time.

Share with your other children about this disorder, giving them a good idea what this child goes through each day. Help the other children to identify those periods of the day, when the highs and lows occur. It becomes almost a game for the other children to ride on the coattails of the bipolar child when they are acting out their disorder. Sometimes creating a "signal" helps them to

understand when these times occur, and to either lend a hand, or steer clear.

One thing I learned from my years of foster care, is to expect that if the child is doing great in the classroom and school situation, then home life will be a challenge and vise versa. It is too much to expect peace on both fronts. Identify, prepare and understand were always my mottos.

Another huge coping mechanism is to create time for yourself. You need this time on a weekly basis to refresh and revive yourself. A couple of times a month, find a time for the other family members to have special time apart from the bipolar Child. This also gives this child "special time" alone with another adult or with another support family.

Putting just a few of these suggestions in place will help you enjoy a happier, more stable environment for you, your family and your Bipolar child.

Sue Mueller is a parent to four grown children. She and her husband have also been foster parents to 25 other children throughout the last 20 years. She shares her parenting ideas and wisdom at http://www.Positive-Discipline-Parenting.com

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