diet - I'm Too Ugly For My Cell Phone

I'm Too Ugly For My Cell Phone

by Kemal Faruquee

Well, I started work yesterday by hitting my head: I was walking beneath some sort of structure that had blow-up Pumpkin Man and blow-up Black Cat that were each 12 feet tall. So, I'm ducking metal structure and head hits metal structure. Shortly thereafter I spill part of my Icee on my shirt, but that's fairly typical. I think the head bump, though, may have knocked a bit of sense into me, because I soon after realized that I'm too ugly for my cell phone. You know, I was looking through the brochures, and everybody looked so sharp and happy. They're holding their phones to their ears and smiling or looking like they are having significant experiences. Well, I want to look sharp and happy, and I want to have significant experiences! Unfortunately, I just may not be worthy of my cellular service. I'm worried that I may get kicked out of the club, but, what will I do? You guys know that I really enjoy the benefits of conversational mobility!
I'm being facetious, of course, and, I like the word facetious because it concedes the humor is clumsy...... At any rate, it's all been said before, but I think it's worth

repeating....You know, all of the advertising etc., well, you know the other stupid, cliche saying about what would a guy from outer space think if he came down and looked at (fill in the blank______________.) Okay, let's run with the stupid saying: what would the outer space guy think if he looked at our billboards, movies, and advertising. Well, he would quickly realize our aeshetic values..
Now, I suppose this could be fine and dandy and just the way it is and just etc., but, truth is, there's a wide selection of industries that thrive because many people are not happy with their personal appearance. You know, "I'm too heavy" "My nose is too big" "My boobs are too small" "My waist is too wide" "My hair is too dark" etc. etc. Now, what I find most disturbing about this is that you have people who wake up in the morning, shower, eat their toast, etc., and then go into the office and it's their job to promote these various unhappies. Well, I say that if your hair is kinky, that's how it was decreed by the universe, and don't let somebody insidiously influence you into thinking that there's something wrong with it.

Now, for "kinky hair" you can substitute anything: little breasts, big butt, etc. etc. That's the way it is.
What magnifies this problem significantly is that the media and advertising and movies seem to serve as propaganda fixing an aesthetic standard, which various industries (diet, exercise, plastic surgery, etc.) promise to deliver at a fee. Do you see how this is? What magnifies this, further, of course is that most folks do not naturally fit into this beauty standard. How could they? It's really quite unrealistic. So, in summary, you are imperfect and should be unhappy about that. Pull out your wallet, and I'll make you happy.
So, those are my thoughts on beauty and technology, and if you find this interesting, please visit the Creative Concept Forum.
About the Author
Kemal Faruquee studied literature at City College and NYU. He currently lives in Pennsylvania where he writes books, makes paintings, develops websites, and runs Creative Memories and a Love Poems Blog.

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