Procrastination: I’ll Get Right on that Tomorrow

by John T Jones, Ph.D.

You can get buried by procrastination that is if you postpone or delay needlessly.

The word comes from the “Latin procrastinatio, formed from the verb procrastinare "to put off for tomorrow," from pro-, "forward" + crastinus, "of tomorrow," from cras, "tomorrow." See http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/archive/2002/08/17.html (if you don’t believe me).

So don’t be procraastinatioing around.

I have a table next to my television chair. I always read while watching television and design grandiose plans to make me rich indeed. I need a place to put my stuff.

I pile my “get rich at your kitchen table” direct mail schemes on my table. I get a bunch of these in the mail each week and I read every word of each one to see if I can’t incorporate some idea in to a mail scheme that would actually be legal. I might say that I don’t solicit this mail. I get it because I place classified ads and mailing list companies grab my name and address and sell it to those who make large mailings to opportunity seekers, etc.

I get a lot of junk on penny stocks and gold stocks and energy stocks all guaranteed to make me as rich as an Arabian Oil Sheik. These offers come into my FAX machine too because my fax number is on one of my web sites that used to provide stock market information. That web site, www.chooseastock.com was one of my grandiose get rich schemes. I was going to be able to sell the site at a great profit because it has such a great name. Nobody bought it. (Warning: There is no paper in my fax machine. I erase all faxes coming in. I use the fax machine only to send faxes to my suppliers.)

I go to the Idaho Youth Ranch store where my wife volunteers on Thursdays and to Barnes and Noble in the big town of Twin Falls. I check Barnes and Nobles bargain book tables and come home with a boodle of books. I buy books for a quarter at the Idaho Youth Ranch store. These all go onto my table. (I usually read two or three books at the same time to break

up the monotony of it all. I don’t read fiction so I don’t have the problem of mixing up the story lines.)

Lastly, I get tons of free magazines. These are gifts to me by the airlines, hotels, and such that I patronized heavily for so many years. After they have gone through the “table period” I put them in boxes and cart them to the library here in our small town. When the library screams “NO MORE,” I take them to the Idaho Youth Ranch store where they sell them for a dime or quarter.

It’s amazing how my table changes from an organized play place to the Matterhorn. To see some neat pics of the Matterhorn and to plan your climb, go to http://ski-zermatt.com/mattnet/features/matterhorn_climb/.

My wife often feed me in front of the television. It’s one of the perks of being retired and too lazy to move to the table. She comes in with a couple of plates and a glass of milk or juice or such and wonders where in all creation she can put the stuff. I shuffle stuff around, get my bib around my neck (which I also keep on the table), and grab all the stuff she couldn’t find a place to land. After a while it gets ridiculous. I must clean the junk off my table.

I read a good article on procrastination once in one of those slick magazines that dispels important but boring information to the elite. A couple of years later I wrote to the publisher and told him (or her) what a great article it was. My letter wasn’t published. I guess it was not very timely.

You can procrastinate doing the following things:

1. Cutting the lawn: When the grass grows above the height of the lawnmower so that your wife will not see it to remind her to tell you to cut the grass, you may have won. In Idaho your lawn may well just blend in with the wheat field next to your house.

2. Shoveling snow: This is good to procrastinate. It could save you from a heart attack or sore muscles. Here is a little chant you can use: Snow, Snow, Go away. Try again in July or May. That’s when the sun will come out and save you.

3. Doing your income tax:

Always put this off until mid-April unless you have a big refund coming. Then do your taxes in January. You can file for an extension on April 15th and do your taxes in the fall after the fishing season.

4. Cleaning your Desk: It’s better to stare at your desk than to clean it. You might misplace an important paper.

5. Paying your bills: If you leave this tedious task long enough maybe your spouse will pay them.

6. Cleaning the garage or basement: Never do these chores in the winter months. The yard sale season is not yet up on you. When you see need money to buy a new fishing pole that is the time to clean your garage and have a yard sale.

7. Planting the garden: When you have missed the last date for peas and radishes, you better hustle down to the nursery and buy that last tomato plant which is now three-feet high.

8. Starting your weigh-loss program: This is a dandy to procrastinate. It consists of diet and exercise and you can procrastinate one or both. Gear up by buying weight loss books and polishing that contraption you bought from a television infomercial.

9. Writing a letter to or visiting your dying aunt in Duluth: At the funeral say that you were just going to write her when you got the telephone call saying she was dead.

10. Mopping the floor: My wife gave me this one. There are some things you just hate to do.

I’ve wanted to write this article for a long time. I’m glad it's finished.

I’m staring at my desk. I cleaned my table last night.

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer."

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com

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