Softball Sagas and Signature Strengths

by Deanna Davis, Ph.D.

I am arguably the world's worst softball player. Or certainly would be placed in the lowest identifiable percentile of softball skill levels. I'm one of those players who garners comments from people on the sidelines, such as, "Wow, she must have a lot of other gifts because softball is definitely not one of them."

During my first game, I sustained a fairly severe concussion when the pitcher slammed the ball into the side of my head. He was quite certain, I'm sure, that he had calculated his trajectory correctly, assuming that no adult woman could run as slowly as I did. Well, he was wrong and he wound up launching a missile-worthy throw straight into the left side of my skull. I still have a dent there. Maybe that should have been a sign to me that softball just isn't my calling. But I didn't pay attention. I kept on lurching, hiccupping, and laughing my way through many additional--and entertaining--attempts to master the game.

It actually took me two full seasons to score a run. If I remember correctly, it was the last game of the second season when I finally made it home for the first time. My team's sole mission for two years was to steward me across home plate in a triumphant, run-scoring parade. Every game held new possibility and every game left hopes dashed. They coined little mantras to chant me on, stood with baited breath each rare event when I actually hit the ball, and offered heartfelt "maybe next times" after each valiant attempt.

On the day I actually scored the run, my teammates were so elated that every single one of them rushed the field to celebrate with me in a rowdy display of support. The other team stood dumbfounded in their positions, wondering what madness had ensued. I mean, it was just a run, right? Not the last game of the World Series. But our team was drunk with joy over my bold triumph against all odds.

The most memorable example of my predisposition to softball ineptitude happened on one of the uncommon occasions when I actually hit the ball. Because I wasn't accustomed to hitting it, it took a second or two for me to process that I was supposed to start running to first base. By some miraculous coincidence, it seems that the other team didn't think I would hit the ball either (why would that be?) so they, too, were unprepared to act. Shocked and amazed as I was, I started running. When I realized that they were fumbling around missing the renegade ball, it dawned on me that I might, indeed, make it to first base. Only I would have to run faster to do that.

With enthusiasm, I hit my own little personal turbo charge button and started sprinting toward first. The only problem was that my upper body started running faster than my lower body. Perhaps you know where this is going. Gravity is such

that one cannot sustain one's upper body running faster than one's lower body for very long. I made this observation at a point when I was hovering at about a 45 degree angle from the ground. I thought to myself, "I wonder how long I can keep this up?" I then realized that, evidently, it wouldn't be for much longer.

I hit the ground with the force of a speeding freight train (courtesy of my rather ineffective, but powerful, turbo charge) and proceeded to roll four or five times, until I finally came to rest at the side of the dugout. Yes, it was the fence that stopped me from careening any further out of control.

The crowd was deathly silent, wondering if I had broken any bones, wounded my psyche for all of eternity, or a combination of both. After a quick self-assessment to determine that none of these cases applied, I started laughing until I nearly turned blue. Well, actually, I guess I did turn kind of blue. This shade change was made possible by the following sponsors: the rolling wake of a dust storm churned up by my turbo charge and my uncontrollable laughing fit. The combination of these two events effectively yielded an asthma-induced coughing fit for the better part of 20 minutes.

This incident is the talk of our circle of friends. When people say, "It couldn't have been that bad," I reluctantly have to affirm that, "Yes, it was that bad. And, unfortunately, I have far too many witnesses to confirm that." But I always follow up that story with the qualification that we are not all gifted in the same ways. Some people (obviously not me), are talented softball players or sports stars. Others are good with numbers, cars, gourmet cooking, or kids. I'm pretty skilled with words and with people.

Fortunately, I'm surrounded by people who use their gifts in ways that support me in using mine. For instance, Nola, my database wizard, keeps me organized and connected; Kerri my techno-guru, publishes my e-zine; and Debe, my bookkeeping diva, is turning my financial systems into, well, honest-to-goodness financial systems. Now, I can do all of these things--manage databases, e-zines, and accounting records--it's just that, like softball, it's not necessarily pretty when I do it. It is far more productive and less stressful for everyone involved when they exercise their gifts in these areas and allow me to exercise my gifts with words and people. When we do that, everyone wins.

And you can do the same. All it takes is learning about what you do best and applying your unique strengths and gifts every day, in every way you can. Your inner genius is second nature to you--it's what you feel you do best, what yields the best outcomes for you, and what others notice about your unique abilities. When you're working in your area of

expertise, you'll have nearly unlimited energy, creativity, and growth opportunities associated with it. And, you'll find that both you and others realize tremendous benefit when you're using those strengths as often as possible. So, how do you do that? Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

1) Take the "Signature Strengths Survey." Log on to http://www.authentichappiness.org and click on the link to take the "VIA Signature Strengths Survey" (located in the top left-hand corner of the website). This survey takes about 20 minutes and will help you identify some of your key strengths. Then, look for ways you can use those strengths each day in the different areas of your life--work, relationships, parenting, self-improvement, or other roles. The more you apply your strengths, the more successful and fulfilled you'll feel in all of these areas.

2) Ask people. Select at least five people from different areas of your life (family, friends, work, etc.) and ask them what they think are your unique gifts--gifts that show up across ALL areas of your life, not just in professional settings. When they respond, simply record their answers and see what themes emerge for you about your signature strengths. Again, look for ways to apply those abilities in all areas of your life on a daily basis.

3) Use other resources and strategies. Check out chapter five in my book, Living With Intention (or the corresponding audio program), for a wide array of other resources for identifying and applying your unique gifts in meaningful ways.

Do these things to gain reassurance that, even though we are not all born to play softball (thankfully, because if we were I'd be in major trouble), we are all born with a unique, inner brilliance just begging to be shared. Once you identify yours and begin using it daily, you will find an unlimited source of fulfillment and success. Give it a try and see where your strengths lead you!

NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the "about the author" info). If use of this article is desired in print, you must first contact Deanna Davis at Deanna@appliedinsight.net

About the author:

Deanna Davis, Ph.D., is an accomplished life coach, professional speaker, and author who helps people design wildly fulfilling and remarkably successful lives. Deanna is the author of Living With Intention: Designing a Wildly Fulfilling and Remarkably Successful Life. She is an admitted laughaholic and a strong proponent of adding chocolate as a key component of the USDA Food Pyramid. Visit Deanna online at www.deannadavis.net.

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