be perfect, you will likely feel anxious. Thoughts of not being good enough and having to be perfect are generally focused on our outer qualities of looks and performance, rather than on the inner qualities of kindness, compassion, and gratitude. When we choose to be kind, loving and compassionate with ourselves and others, we feel good about ourselves. When we choose gratitude for what we do have rather than dwell on what we don’t have, we create inner peace. Kindness and gratitude are wonderful antidotes to anxiety!

Anxiety is always a sign that we are telling ourselves a lie. The truth creates peace inside, while lies create fear and anxiety. This is a sure-fire way of knowing what is true and what is not true!

Emotionally, depression is caused by not taking good care of ourselves. If we ignore our needs, don’t speak up for ourselves, judge ourselves, and make others responsible for our feelings, the result may be depression. If you have a child whom you ignore and judge, that child will likely be depressed. The same occurs on the inner level when we ignore and judge our own inner child. Putting yourself last and taking care of everyone else but yourself may cause you to feel unworthy and depressed.

There is little point in taking drugs for anxiety and depression without attending to your dysfunctional thinking and to how you are treating yourself. However, if you take drugs for a short time and give yourself the opportunity to do your inner work, they may be helpful. Many of the people I work with find that as soon as they start taking good care of themselves, they don’t

like the effect of the drugs. They don’t like the fact that the drugs take the edge off their feelings. They find that, rather than wanting to be numbed out, they want to feel all of their feelings deeply, both the highs and the lows. The more they learn to take responsibility for their feelings by attending to their thoughts and needs, the more they want to feel all of their feelings. They discover that, while drugs may take the edge off pain, they also take the edge off joy.

Most of the people I work with can avoid drugs completely by learning to take loving care of themselves, both physically and emotionally. Many of the people who practice the Inner Bonding process that we teach find Inner Bonding to be far more powerful in healing anxiety and depression than drugs.

If you are a person who does not want to learn to take personal responsibility for your pain and joy, then drugs may be a way out for you. But if you want to feel true peace and joy, drugs are not the answer.


Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

margaret@innerbonding.com