by Amy Cummings

At Christmas I went to visit my parents. Helping my mom de-clutter some old paper work, I discovered an old journal I had written. I was appalled by what I read. Granted, the journal was written when I was 16 years old (during the tough time of adolescence). I am most bothered by all the trivial things that occupied my mind. Why did I waste so much energy on “he said, she said?” Why did I stew over what “this one or that one” thought of me?

However, after the initial shock (from looking back at the teenager I was) I found myself content with the situation. I was satisfied with how much I have grown up. It showed me how much I matured. Sometimes it is hard to see how much you have grown. This old dusty journal was the starting point of me becoming a woman.

Journaling is a powerful tool. It creates an outlet for your emotions, thoughts and ideas. You can take all the random thoughts going on in your head and safely place them on a non-judgmental paper. Once you have placed the words in a secure place, you can move on to other things.

Choosing a journal is very important. Choose a journal that fits your personality. My latest journal is a hardback leather book, filled with luscious thick creamy pages. The pen I use solely for my journal is made with the finest of ink, writing smooth as butter. I take my time with my handwriting, being very deliberate with each stroke of the pen. I respect my journal. I demand that others respect my journal. My journal is private, unless I decide to share it with someone else.

I suppose years down the road, I will read this current journal and once again, see how much I have grown and matured. Maybe my current feelings about my youngest daughters delays, my body image and my ability as a parent willsomehow seem silly compared to other things I will experience in the next 20 years.

However, I feel content knowing that I have expressed myself and given my thoughts, ideas and dreams a soft place to land.

Amy Cummings is currently a stay-at-home mom who takes care of her two daughters. Amy is a special education teacher by trade. She has written many books and journals. Her current journaling software can be seen at http://www.journeytofatherhood.com and http://www.LifesLittleJournals. She created the “Knot Me” which helps eliminate knots and bald spots from riding in the car seat or stroller. They are available at http://www.theknotme.com/. In addition, she has numerous other “Mommy Inventions.”