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The Gift of Fear | 
 enlarge | Author: Gavin De Becker
Publisher: Dell
Category: Book
List Price: $7.99
Buy Used: $0.97
You Save: $7.02 (88%)
New (56) Used (51) Collectible (1) from $0.97
Rating:  312 reviews
Sales Rank: 15687
Media: Mass Market Paperback
Pages: 432
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.5
Dimensions (in): 6.8 x 4.2 x 1
ISBN: 0440226198
Dewey Decimal Number: 362.88
EAN: 9780440226192
ASIN: 0440226198
Publication Date: May 1998
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Great book we ship daily.
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Amazon.com Review
Each hour, 75 women are raped in the United States, and every few seconds, a woman is beaten. Each day, 400 Americans suffer shooting injuries, and another 1,100 face criminals armed with guns. Author Gavin de Becker says victims of violent behavior usually feel a sense of fear before any threat or violence takes place. They may distrust the fear, or it may impel them to some action that saves their lives. A leading expert on predicting violent behavior, de Becker believes we can all learn to recognize these signals of the "universal code of violence," and use them as tools to help us survive. The book teaches how to identify the warning signals of a potential attacker and recommends strategies for dealing with the problem before it becomes life threatening. The case studies are gripping and suspenseful, and include tactics for dealing with similar situations. People don't just "snap" and become violent, says de Becker, whose clients include federal government agencies, celebrities, police departments, and shelters for battered women. "There is a process as observable, and often as predictable, as water coming to a boil." Learning to predict violence is the cornerstone to preventing it. De Becker is a master of the psychology of violence, and his advice may save your life. --Joan Price
Product Description
True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening? The baby-sitter you've just hired makes you uneasy--what should you do?
You sense you are being followed --do you confront the stranger...or run?
A fired employee says "You'll be sorry"--should you take him seriously?
A person in the elevator you are about to enter just doesn't look right--do you wait for the next car?A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts. In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger--before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 307 more reviews...
 A Book Can Merit 5 Stars Even If It's Flawed January 7, 2009
Hilary1956 (Wilkes-Barre, PA)
Nearly ten years after its publication, The Gift of Fear rightly has a slate of Amazon reviews probably longer than the book. Valid criticism is available in every "star" category. Sometimes, however, a book transcends even its gripping thesis; The Gift of Fear does this.
It does so by a subtle repetition of the incontrovertible fact: Evil exists. De Becker's easy-to-read style drives home this reality. Even if--as the book's nastiest reviews point out--at points its message seems self-interested ("the reader needs professional guidance in order to protect herself; hire us"), so what? Do artisans or experts in other fields, who write How To books, never lead readers to infer sometimes professional help is mandatory? Psychologists do it all the time!
What I particularly admired about The Gift of Fear isn't its "You might have acted differently if you had been armed with what I'll tell you" stuff. It was De Becker's unflinching belief in Evil and Evil's many guises. That he ignores what one negative reviewer mincingly points out: pride often leads to victimization, is not the book's issue.
Of course pride leads to victimization. Innocence leads to victimization. Hindsight--a fool's or an innocent's--is always 20/20. Should De Becker not have written this unapologetic analysis of the wicked mind because potential victims might be stupid, lazy, or even wicked themselves?
The book's final message is like Cat Steven's song: "Baby, Baby, It's a Wild World." Will crime victims yet to be victimized prevent crimes from happening to them if they read it? Maybe not. Crimes of the magnitude De Becker details aren't committed by idiots. But if The Gift of Fear keeps one single woman from opening the door to a handsome "repairman"; if it makes one father suspicious of a son's overly polite and talkative best friend; if it gives one co-ed an intuition that leaving a party with a "personality guy" might not be a good idea, then it will be more than worth reading. It will have saved a life.
 MATRIARCH PURCHASE January 6, 2009
Carol Wigfall Edinbyrd
I MADE THIS PURCHASE FOR BOTH MY DAUGHTER AND MY GRAND-DAUGHTER TO AID IN THEIR PERSONAL SAFETY. I USED IT AS A STOCKING STUFFER AT CHRISTMAS, MY GRAND-DAUGHTER ASKED HOW DID I KNOW SHE HAD WANTED THE GIFT OF FEAR AND I TOLD HER "GREAT MINDS TRAVEL THE SAME PATH". YOU CANNOT SEND YOUR LOVED ONES OUT UNPREPARED AND I FEEL AS IF THE INFORMATION THIS BOOK CONTAINS OFFERS SOME INSIGHT INTO HOW YOU CAN FEEL MORE SECURE IN TODAY'S HIGH CRIME ENVIRONMENT. OH, I AM READING IT ALSO, AS AN ELDER I NEED TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THOSE WHO PREY!!
Required reading December 21, 2008
Kathryn Aman (Palmyra, NY)
I purchased this book for both my own daughter and for a niece, after I read it. These single women are each living in distant states in a metropolitan area. After reading it myself, having seen the author speak on Oprah, I knew it would be a great self awarenesst book. Both young women expressed gratitude for such a wise book investment as the author shares practical approaches to living life independently but SAFELYY.
Well that was interesting. December 6, 2008
Lanie K. Ray
I very much enjoyed the book, and learned a great deal from it. A psychologist friend of mine, however, wasn't as taken with it as I was. He says it justifies women being terrified of every man and turning vicious on nice guys who just want to help out. Keep in mind, however, that this is precisely what the book is trying to stop. The point and purpose is to teach women when to listen to their fears and when to calm down and realize that there's nothing to be afraid of at the moment.
In short, as a woman I highly recommend this book.
Great Read! Well Done! December 5, 2008
J. Barron (Cleveland,OH)
The author did an outstanding job of keeping it interesting. It was published in the mid 90's so some of the "contemporary" events and people listed are slightly dated. However, the message is timeless. I work the streets in law enforcement and experience 1st hand what the author is writing on. Highly recommend it. It will become part of my "suggested reading" list for basic police cadets where I teach.
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