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My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face | 
 enlarge | Author: Michael Ian Black
Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Category: Book
List Price: $23.95
Buy New: $11.97
You Save: $11.98 (50%)
New (37) Used (13) from $10.47
Rating:  232 reviews
Sales Rank: 8041
Media: Hardcover
Pages: 240
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.7 x 1
ISBN: 1416964053
Dewey Decimal Number: 818.602
EAN: 9781416964056
ASIN: 1416964053
Publication Date: July 15, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Brand New. 100% money back guarantee. All books shipped from Strand Bookstore, New York City, USA.
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Product Description
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*. How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade." Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all. Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead. And this flap copy. Enjoy. * Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 227 more reviews...
 An Uneventful Ride November 20, 2008
Alfonso Mangione (Chicago, IL United States)
"My Custom Van" takes you to a lot of places--taco parties, football locker rooms, Billy Joel's head--but although the scenery's interesting, the ride itself is uneventful.
Most of the humor revolves around characters saying the ridiculous with a straight face; there were a few laugh-out-loud moments, but most of it was, to quote Ralph Wiggum, "funny, but not haha funny." One of the best pieces hypothesized what would be going through Billy Joel's head while driving to a holiday party where he knew there would be a piano--but it was funnier when I read it on the McSweeney's website a few years ago.
Anyway, it's not an actively bad book--it's just kinda there, and I have a hard time getting worked up enough to write much about it at all, good or bad. So I'll close with another Simpsons quote: Meh.
 Uhhhh . . . no November 14, 2008
C. J. Leach (Midwest, United States)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is a collection of essays, or short comedy topics. It is apparently intended to be funny, in an "on the edge" sort of way. I found it to be generally not funny at all.
It's as if it was written by someone with little comedic talent, that has been convinced by friends and family that he is a comic genius and that anything that comes to mind and is written down must be hilarious. Author Michael Ian Black shows little restraint in constructing absurd situations, or statements, or use of vulgarity (I am not prudish, and can enjoy profane language as a communications art form). The trouble is, Black is not funny. Or really interesting.
A reviewer's claim on the back cover reads to the effect, "Fun to read while you're pooping!" (May I add that this would be especially true in an "out of TP" situation). But I'm sorry to say that I don't find this to be even good toiletside literature.
To paint a picture . . . think of keen wit and humor as a well-tailored tuxedo. This book is a pair of white socks.
Actually very disappointing! November 13, 2008
William Hardin (Virgina)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
I wanted to like this book so much. I think Michael Ian Black is so quick witted on TV and normally enjoy most everything he does. Sadly this book is an exception to that list. It feels like he took some simple jokes and tried to turn them into a David Sedaris like book. The problem is that while it is hard to put down a Sedaris book, I had to FORCE myself to finish this book. It can be funny if you read only 1 or 2 "essays" at a time with a week in between them but it is painful to attempt to read from start to finish. The problem is there is no connection at ALL between the essays and many of them are 2-4 pages of setup for a funny joke in the last sentence. It is funny the first few times, but Black overuses it to the point it simply annoying.
So overall, if you read it in short bursts and don't expect much, you will be somewhat pleased. But in my opinion this is not a book to read like a normal book but more of a bathroom book.
 Couldn't finish this one... November 13, 2008
M. L. Simon (Bothell, WA)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
I think this is a 'guy' book, that or maybe just not something I wanted to read. I tried to finish this one, I really did, but it wasn't my cup of tea.
Shouldn't humor be funny? November 10, 2008
the ArtWench (the Deep South)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
Perhaps the problem is that I'm unfamiliar with this comedian's work. Perhaps, I just don't get his brand of humor. Or perhaps this set of essays is just not funny. All I felt as I read them was "So? What's you point?" It isn't even as though he was so offensive that his scatalogisms turned me off. When I read his letters to the squirrel, I seriously tried to be amused feeling that in some way I was missing out. I mean, c'mon! The concept is funny. But, nope. Nothing. The bit about the scented candle store barely kept my eyes open.
I'm keeping the book in my bathroom next to the toilet for that emergency read when I forget to bring a good book in with me. And who knows? Perhaps, after a time, I might find the humor. Don't hold your breath.
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