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My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face | 
 enlarge | Author: Michael Ian Black
Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Category: Book
List Price: $23.95
Buy New: $13.52
You Save: $10.43 (44%)
New (39) Used (12) Collectible (1) from $13.27
Rating:  244 reviews
Sales Rank: 3370
Media: Hardcover
Pages: 223
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.7 x 1
ISBN: 1416964053
Dewey Decimal Number: 818.602
EAN: 9781416964056
ASIN: 1416964053
Publication Date: July 15, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*. How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade." Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all. Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead. And this flap copy. Enjoy. * Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 239 more reviews...
 Words escape me... December 2, 2008
Trevor J. Edwards (Columbus, OH)
First and foremost I'll lead by saying that in my eyes this book is a 4 or 5 star read for me personally. My rating of 3 is intended as a reflection of how hit or miss this book is.
Moving on...
This book is a collection of short stories. Most if not all of the stories are 4 pages long. Stories should also probably be "stories" since many lean more towards things one might think of while high more so than coherent tales. This worked for me in fantastic ways but I will clearly be the first to admit that this read is definitely not for everybody.
There's no common thread with the subject matter. If I remember correctly the book opens up with Billy Joel's inner dialog at an x-mas party, sports some letters to squirrels, and has a story with the "F" bomb more than 20 times in its 4 pages. Really it's all just numb. It falls somewhere between Golden Retrievers fetching rocks and call centers with dress codes.
I'd recommend this book to bathroom readers, current and former drug users, the completely warped of mind, those with untreated attention deficit disorders, and those teetering on the fringes of sanity. Entries in this book may not always have you laughing out loud but you'll at least reach page four of any given story with a resounding "WTF?!"
In summary, the book is weird, random, and it's likely you will find no joy in it... unless you aren't quite right.
 Disappointing December 1, 2008
S.R.W. Phillips (Lexington, Kentucky USA)
I fully expected to like this book. In case you wonder, I am one of the people who actually watches all those reruns of "I Love the '80s" and "I Love the '70s" and anything other series that is similar that VH1 churns out. So if you've ever been frustrated by the repeated airings of those programs and wondered in frustration, "Who watches this crap, anyway?", that would be me. One of the show's comic mainstays, as anyone who has even casually watched the series can tell you, is Michael Ian Black. I had always found him to be one of the funnier commentators on the show, so I assumed that this book would be excellent.
I am sad to say that I am sorely disappointed. I wanted to like it, since, whenever I find someone funny/talented, I become kind of invested in them, in a way, and want anything I consume that is related to them to be wonderful and to do well. Alas, I was about 50 pages into the book of essays before I even slightly chuckled to myself. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what is wrong with this book, other than just an overly simplistic explanation of: it's plain old not funny. It's not offensive. It's not annoying. It's just not clever and, sadly, it's not funny.
Your money and time would be better served spent on a Chuck Klosterman book if what you're after is funny essays. You should definitely take a pass on this one.
Not what I expected November 30, 2008
Bill (Southern Maryland, U.S.A.)
This book was not what I expected. I'd never heard of Michael Ian Black before. What I wanted was an easy to carry book to take with me when I went for my doctor appointments. Something I could read easily. This book certainly fills that bill. What I don't like is Mr. Black's frequent use of a four letter word that I feel is totally unnecessary outside an Army boot camp. I suppose I could use a magic marker to delete the word. Some of the stories are amusing and there are others that I really didn't enjoy. Perhaps someone younger would enjoy this book but I'm in my mid-seventies and this book was not something I would recommend. Maybe I should stick to Mark Twain! I suppose I should have acquainted myself with Michael Ian Black before I selected his book.
Not So Funny November 29, 2008
Emily Lucchesi (Manchester, MA USA)
I'm usually a fan of comedy books in the genre, i love chelsea handlers books, but sadly was vey disappointed with this book. I did enjoy a few pf the stroies, but overall i wasnt impressed.
Short, funny, absurd stories November 28, 2008
Brent Thompson (New London, PA USA)
You should only consider this book if you are fan of the absurd, the non-sequitur, and the off-kilt. If you have seen Black give his snarky comments on VH1 pop culture shows you know he has a quick but dark wit. If you are someone who knows what you are getting into with Black's humor then you should enjoy this anthology of mostly very short essays.
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