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Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach | 
| Author: Joseph Nicolosi
Publisher: Jason Aronson
Category: Book
List Price: $49.95
Buy New: $41.03
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New (16) Used (13) from $29.95
Seller: Amazon.com
Rating:  37 reviews
Sales Rank: 386556
Media: Paperback
Pages: 374
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.4 x 1.1
ISBN: 0765701421
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.8583
EAN: 9780765701428
ASIN: 0765701421
Publication Date: October 1, 1997
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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Product Description
"This book explores a reparative psychotherapy based on an understanding of the development of gender identity, offering to help the non-gay homosexual, that is, one who is unhappy with his sexual orientation."
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 37
 A Book for our Nation January 2, 2010
Beverly Kingsford
I found this book to be very interesting. I read it because I have a friend who is gay, and I've always wanted to have a deeper understanding of this issue. The book seemed to confirm many of my own feelings about why men have same sex attractions. The gay issue has been and still is being politicized in our country, which is very unfortunate for the people who struggle with this problem. It is my opinion, that much of the truth of the gay issue has been hidden and tucked away in order to promote a certain viewpoint in the media. The book goes into the failure of psychologists to recognize previous years of studies and their failure to offer real help to these men and women. It seems that instead of getting to the heart of why this problem came about, they instead try to help these men go on with their lives by telling them that there is nothing they can do about their homosexuality, except to accept it and live that lifestyle. But,I believe that many men struggle with their conscience and they find it very hard to feel good about the way they are living, as if this was okay with God. In order to live the gay lifestyle openly, it seems to me that you pretty much have to deny the existence of order in the universe. Trees bear fruit, animals bear offspring, people procreate. To say that living a lifestyle that defies nature, and to say that it is equally valid, is a lie. Anybody that actually believes that is just kidding themselves. To say that men are not capable of change, is also a lie. We are all changing, growing, people who are capable of overcoming difficulties if we aren't afraid to face them head on. This takes a lot of humility. This book is great, because it goes into the REASONS why men develop attractions to other men. It explains the defense mechanism that many boys use to protect their pysche from abusive, harsh, or withdrawn fathers, overprotective mothers, and not being able to bond with other boys. These boys tend to withdraw from their own identity, in that they reject the harshness of being a man. It seems to me that being bullied in school or not being accepted into a group of boys as a youth, can also have terrible consequences for boys.
We live in a society that is falling apart for lack of enough good men. Boys are getting the impression that religion is feminine, that being in touch with oneself and feelings is also somehow feminine. It seems to me that in reality, many gay men are more of a man than those out there who would cover up their insecurities with sports. It's okay if men are not interested in sports or hunting. It's okay if a man's talent is in an area which may seem more feminine. It's time that we stopped seeing men in their "accepted careers" and gave them space to be what they want to be. They shouldn't have to feel any less masculine for being the man they want to be. But our society tells us that we need to fit into a certain box. Personal strength of character, is the thing that boys need to be able to be the best they can be, whatever direction they take. They get this strength from their homes, but also from their churches and communities. Being part of an organized church is a great strength to boys because they learn the principles that will make them strong men. They also get the support of other boys and the chance to interact with other boys in a positive way. The Boy Scout program is such a good example of boys learning how to be men and how to interact with other boys in a way that makes them feel valued. If boys don't have the interaction they need with their fathers at home, then church congregations and local boys programs are the next best thing. It seems to me, that we have this notion, that boys should just naturally know how to grow up and become a man. But, that idea is not true. They need guidance and support from older, more experienced men who care. This makes them feel valued and worthy. This is lacking in our society, and I believe that is one reason why we are seeing so many boys turn toward homosexuality. They don't know how to be men, but they want to be. Instead of feeling like a failure, they just simply escape by being "gay." Our hearts should go out to these boys, instead of judging them harshly. Everyone needs to be treated with respect. Being a man can be a scary thing in today's world, but if men join and work together, like the Amish people do, then there is unity and acceptance and strength.
The first part of this book goes into the details of the failure of the mental health profession and studies that have been done in the past. It also talks about the fact that, for the most part, living the gay lifestyle is not fulfilling and that it is very difficult for men to find true happiness there. It discusses why men seek out other men, in order to feel more masculine and valued by other men. It explains how the process of being accepted and valued by other men, gets sexualized because these men feel insecure in their ability to have a relationship with other men, based on mutual respect. The first part of the book goes into some of the ugliness of the gay lifestyle and this would affect the way the public views these men in general. I thought that it would have been good to present the fact more prominently, that many gay men are very intelligent, successful, giving and caring men. Joe does do that to a degree.
The second part of the book goes into the therapy aspect of overcoming homosexuality, and why it can work. For someone just wanting to get on with the doing, you could just skip the first part and move on to the second half of the book, although, I think understanding that there is a lot of research to back up the therapy, is an important thing as well. I think it's wise for society to understand that human beings are very complex creatures, psychologically. Our development as children and youth, can have such a profound effect on who we will be. Our feelings and emotions can get mixed up.
I read this book partly, to understand myself better. I am a heterosexual female, but like my friend, I feel like I suffered similar problems in my childhood. Because I was a girl, my lack of fatherly love and attention affected me differently. My father was harsh and critical and not around alot. He withdrew into the TV when he was home. He had a hard time interacting with his children in a positive way. This made me crave male attention and has affected my view of men and my marriage. I was insecure as a teenager because I didn't have the support from my father that I needed. The role that men play in raising children, is a very important role. Men are very important in society, and yet, we have the media downplaying their importance and telling us that we don't need men. The fact is, that we do need men. We need lots of good men. We need their strength of character and body, we need to be loved and cherished by them. Our children need to be spending time with their father's and appreciating the struggles that men have. We need supportive women to help this along. We need mothers who are not afraid of letting their boys turn into men.
Traditionally, men have been the supporters and defenders. They were the ones who fought the wars and conquered the oppressor. Where has that idea gone? Men need to learn how to use a gun. They need to be taught how to work hard. They need to be taught to face their responsibilities in their gender identity as a man. That means responsible sex and being responsible for what you produce. All of this comes down to having and needing spiritual strength. In being humble and teachable, we are strong. Throwing away pride and admitting our errors is the first important step. We all have weaknesses, most likely brought on by some feeling created in childhood. Recognizing our feelings and dealing with them is also an important step. Men are told that feelings aren't masculine, so they shut them down. This only compounds the problem. Strength includes facing our feelings and letting them out. Learning how to express anger in an acceptable and productive way, is such an important part of being able to feel valued. Anger is not necessarily a bad thing. Expressing our feelings empowers us and lets us feel that we are important and that our feelings do matter. I believe that by simply validating the feelings of boys and men, that so many of these problems can be avoided. We need to quit putting on the perfectionist front and start realizing that none of us is perfect. It's okay if we don't appear perfect and strong all the time. God gives men weaknesses to make them humble. And if they accept their weakness with humility, God will and can turn that weakness into a strength.
 Shocking pseuo-science December 27, 2009
R. Flynn (UK)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
Just when you thought UFO's and "quantum energy healing" were as bad as it could get, books like this pop up.
So-called "reparative therapy" is a bad joke. It belongs in the same camp as healing with crystals and the laying-on of hands. If you've got $40 to waste, by all means read it. Personally, encouraging people to accept their sense of wrongness is something that I find utterly shameful, in the same way that apartheid, Pol Pot and the Chinese "cultural revolution" were.
What demons are this guy struggling with? November 5, 2009
Daniel S. Szuhay
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
More bad and disproved science which can lead to increased levels of anxiety, depression and suicide ideation.
This guy is so fascinated with homosexuality. What is this guy afraid of in himself which he is trying to work out through this kind of dangerous writing?
Reparative Therapy is NOT Therapy November 4, 2009
chattyc69
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
Reparative Therapy is not accepted by any therapist association anywhere. It has been thoroughly debunked. There is no scientific evidence to support it. What there is wide evidence on is the high suicide rate amongst LGBT teens who are subjected to being treated as they are not normal and need to change something that is impossible to change. This book is not clinical and actually dangerous.
unsientific debunked treatment October 30, 2009
G.R. (Pleasant Hill, CA USA)
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. So-called "Reparative therapy" has been completely debunked, and the American Psychological Association has come out with a statement to that effect. A large number of people who have been harmed by this misguided unscientific practice, and there is an increased suicide rate among it's survivors. To use these methods is to risk harm to your clients and to open yourself up to litigation for malpractice, for which your clients will have a solid case.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 37
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