The foundation of my program 12 WEEKS TO A FIT BRIDE is that the healthier you are, the happier you are, which positively affects all your relationships but most importantly the one with the love of your life. Many brides primarily focus on the wedding day and give little to no thought to life after the honeymoon. I want you to have the most amazing day of your life with all the details you’ve dreamed about, including a FIT & FABULOUS BODY. In addition, I want your everyday after to be filled with the same excitement and happiness your wedding day brings.
Having a BRIDE FIT RELATIONSHIP requires you to invest time, energy and deliberate effort, just like it does to attain a BRIDE FIT BODY & MIND.
The keys to a happy & healthy relationship aren’t a secret. There’s an abundance of information available in books, podcasts and TED Talks. The truth is that we are not born knowing or possessing the knowledge and skills we need to have a successful and thriving relationships. We learn from the examples our parents gave us, experiences we have and people that surround us. That can be really good news if you were shown a loving, cooperative and thriving relationship, but sadly this is not often the case. We tend to adopt negative traits or beliefs that don’t support happy and healthy relationships. The great news is that we can learn relationship skills from experts as well as people that are living and accomplishing what we all want; a thriving relationship with the love of our lives!
Health and wellness are more than the food we eat and the workouts we do. The strength and pleasure of the love relationship in our lives has a significant impact on our physical health. The reverse is also true; the quality of our physical health greatly affects the vitality of our love relationship.
Ester Perel is a relationship expert and is recognized as one of the most insightful and provocative voices on personal and professional relationships and the complex science behind human interaction. This is someone we can definitely learn relationship skills from! She said, “The quality of your LIFE depends on the QUALITY of your relationship.” This is a powerful statement that causes us to pay attention and evaluate the quality of our connection with our partner in life. Ester compared the way most people treat and care for their relationships to the way we would care for a cactus in the desert. That’s not good news and tells me that a large percentage of couples are surviving in love relationships versus thriving. If our love relationships are connected to our happiness and our happiness is connected to our health, then it’s enormously important to give attention to the quality of our love relationship if we are interested in a life of health and happiness.
As I mentioned, communication and relationship skills are not inborn. We learn them from relationships we were exposed to growing up, through our experiences and information we seek on purpose. When someone has success and excels in a particular area like a sport, fitness program or business, it’s beneficial to find out what their habits are. The secret sauce is what we do on a regular basis! I know you desire a happy & healthy relationship that continues to grow, so let’s look at the habits that most happy couples practice: Expressing appreciation, cuddling in the morning, walking together, cooking and cleaning up together, connecting during the day, bringing your partner coffee in the morning, and turning off the TV to spend time together at night. Establishing some of these healthy relationship habits to show your love and appreciation towards your fiancÃ© will be contagious! You will notice him mirror your routines and loving actions. Happiness, health and love are infectious!
A wise friend said something to me a few years ago that really struck a cord, something so simple yet most couples don’t practice. He said, “If married couples woke up every morning and thought to themselves, what could I do today to make my partner feel loved, valued and happy? There would be a lot less divorce.” What an idea; thinking of your partner first! It’s the opposite of what the current model of dating and marriage look like, which is all about “me.” Ester Perel said the breakdown in relationships starts the day we stop thinking of our partner, and shift our focus to ourselves. I’m not suggesting you ignore or forget your needs. Self-care plays a big role in being BRIDE FIT in your BODY & MIND. I’m suggesting being conscience of the needs and desires your partner has and having the daily intention to fill those needs and desires. This is a priority since you are the only one that is in the role of his partner in life. This is the “mother key” to a Bride Fit Relationship!
Another key is communication. This is one of those words people throw around, like “eat healthy,” or you should “stretch.” Communication of your feelings in a kind and loving way is a relationship rule from the book, “Relationship Rescue,” by Dr. Phil McGraw. This is huge! The secret (not really) is that you or your man cannot read minds! Sometimes (a lot) we have expectations that our needs, desires and opinions are “known” without actually expressing them.
The last key I want to mention is the skill of listening. There is a difference between “hearing” and “listening.” Hearing just happens, versus listening which involves deliberate intention to understand what the other person is communicating. Making eye contact when your fiancÃ© is talking to you and repeating (not annoyingly) words or statements to clarify are good approaches to be “present” in the conversation. The 3 Keys to a living “happily & healthily ever after” the wedding are simply:
- Wake up everyday and ask yourself, “How can I make my partner feel loved and valued today.”
- Communicating your feelings and desires in a KIND and LOVING way.
- Listen with intention.
These are SIMPLE but not always EASY! Keep in mind; putting aside “false pride,” and the need to be “right” will support your desire to have a BRIDE FIT RELATIONSHIP!
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