Cut In-Law Tensions with 3 Conversation Tips

Your mother-in-law plays such an important role in your life. You can cut the tension in your relationship by inviting her into your kitchen and taking up any of these three conversations!  

A older and a younger women tasting foos in the kitchen

A older and a younger women tasting foos in the kitchen

3 Simple Conversations Any Bride Can Hold with her Mother-in-Law

  1. Make Your Kitchen Shine: If you want to really impress your MIL, wipe down the inside of your refrigerator before she comes! Check the interior of your trashcans (stuff slips down there and you can bet your bucks MIL will notice!). Be sure to clean your back splashes too! These areas might not be places you usually pay attention to, but spending a few minutes on these before she comes to visit will give her the peace of mind she may not even know she’s looking for. She’ll feel content that her son is being taken care of by a woman as competent as herself (and maybe more so!). If you do notice her eyeing something in your kitchen that isn’t spotless or may need a bit of repair, ask her for advice. A how would you deal with this problem will immediately endear her to you!
  2. Let her help you! It’s not easy to let anyone work in your kitchen, least of all your MIL. We don’t want to be judged or analyzed–after all it’s our kitchen! But giving your MIL a job, even something small, will give her a role in your home. She will feel honored that you allow her to navigate your territory, plus it will put her at ease. She won’t wonder what she should do or if she is stepping on your toes. If you’re not sure what to let her do, ask her about her kitchen routines at home as you get to know her in your kitchen. Does she run her kitchen? Does her hubby do any cooking? Who loads the dishwasher? Small talk about this will help you naturally discover what she likes to do and will give you time to figure out how she can help you! And if she does offer tips on organizing, accept them graciously with a thank you for suggesting that–I may just have to try it! You aren’t committing to changing your process or order, but you are showing respect and encouraging give and take, which will impact your relationship for years to come.
  3. Don’t Talk Negatively about Her This one is a tough one. We women are quick to point out negatives in other women, and MIL’s are a cultural target. Stopping this negative thinking means being intentional in your efforts. Instead of talking negatively about your MIL, find something you like about her. When something does go wrong, which it will no matter your efforts, whatever you do, do not complain about her to is your fiancé. Complaints about your MIL at the beginning of your engagement and marriage chip away at your relationship with your fiancé/spouse too. They drive an invisible wedge between your MIL and her son, one that will only inflame that tension, cause her to fight harder to win her child and cause you to fight harder to win him. The last thing you want or need as you get closer to your important day is an enormous wedge between you and anyone else, least of all your fiancé or your MIL.

Infuse Positivity, Gain Rich Relationships

You may never have thought seriously about the benefits of a good relationship with your mother-in-law, but the truth is that the more good you can infuse into your relationships, the healthier, happier, and stronger those relationships will be. Most importantly, this will set a positive relationship pattern for you and your fiancé!

Learn more great tips on building strong relationships with your MIL, friends, and family as you prepare for the biggest day in your life!


Sheila is a health coach and creator of 12 WEEKS TO A FIT BRIDE.    She works with BRIDES in the area’s of fitness, nutrition & lifestyle to create a life of “happily & healthily ever after.”

User Reviews


Your email address will not be published

four × five =