A lot of people are fascinated with the subject of narcissism. Perhaps it’s because we all think we know one, or live with one. But is it possible, that you’re the narcissist? If you are wondering, there are some things you can look at to determine whether or not you have narcissistic tendencies.
Of course, no matter how well we go through the grieving process it is still going to hurt. But there are some tools, aids, and, you could even say, some gifts that can help you in the grieving process.
If there is something or someone that continues to exert power over your life – power that overwhelms your best intentions, sabotages your greatest efforts, and frustrates your deepest desires, then no formula, set of keys or steps will help you until you are able to take your life back. True freedom comes when you gain the strength to no longer live in reaction to the negative power and destructive control that keeps you from living the life you were meant to live.
I recently received a question at tv.newlife.com from someone who has some anger issues. Debbie writes that she’s divorced with 2 children and she has a very antagonistic family. She finds herself becoming more reactive with others. She really gets disappointed with people easily and she’s bugged easily. She says, “I want to finish strong, but I don’t feel like I am doing that. I don’t have a lot to offer people and, in fact, I don’t have any friends. I feel used up and without hope.”
Years ago I was a pastor at a local church in upper state New York. I was called to that ministry to serve a small congregation. I was told that I would have free reign to grow that ministry, to grow that parish. And so in that first year the ministry began to grow. We began to reach out to adults, to children, and to youth.
If anybody should be afraid of abandonment it would be me. I was raised in a family that was emotionally detached and had very little emotional connection. I felt like my parents weren’t there for me and they weren’t. My dad worked 3 jobs sometimes and my mom was busy managing beauty salons. I admired them greatly, but I felt abandoned early on to be raised by unhealthy siblings.
There are many misunderstandings about grief. What is the truth about grief? Well, one of the big truths about grief is that it is important that you allow yourself to cry. A lot of times we think that for our children’s sake or for the sake of somebody else we need to be stoic, and not show the full depth of our emotions. Or, maybe we were taught that crying is a sign of weakness. But you know, you really can’t cry too much, so don’t try not to cry. Let that be part of the healing process.