I buried my truck in the mud last weekend when I mindlessly drove off the pavement and onto the soft shoulder. I probably could have steered back onto the pavement and that would have been that. But for some impulsive reason, I stopped, turned the motor off and hung out with myself and the dark and the crickets. It was neat, sitting there by the side of the road, knowing no one would be driving by at this time of night to interrupt this solitude.
In our lives we face many things that block the goals we have set for ourselves. Sometimes, when our goals are unmet, we become angry. In many cases, anger is a by-product of our not getting our way. But there are times when our anger may be a secondary emotion that hides our true feelings. Back when we were children we learned to hide our emotions to spare ourselves from more pain. We learned that it was unacceptable to cry on the playground. ‘Suck it up,’ they said, or ‘Don’t cry, be a man.’ We were encouraged to, ‘Fight and defend yourself.’ We learned that the only emotion that was OK to express was anger. What that means is that many of us have been stuffing our feelings since we were five years old, with anger being the only emotion we are allowed to show.
Real resentment over real damage by a real person produces a justifiable resentment, and it becomes such a huge part of your life that it feels like a vulture sitting on top of you - a dark and dangerous presence that affects everything you do.
Most of us hate feeling powerless; and, indeed, it is not very good for us - especially for extended periods of time. It can lead to depression, anxiety, outbursts of anger, alienation from others, physical symptoms; and, in its trauma form, it can lead to the symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD (e.g. nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and loss of concentration or memory to name a few).
Anxiety is nervousness, being worried or stressed. Men may disguise their anxiety and channel it through workaholism, anger, and frustration. Women are more open about their fear and anxiety. Women are worrisome and express anxiety through fretting, or in feeling shaky. They tend to have anxieties that hold them back or hold them up from doing things they need to do.