1. ASK YOURSELF, “DO I LIKE BEING STUCK?” Some people actually like being stuck. They like being the victim, they like attention, and are comfortable with “learned helplessness.” But if the answer is no, what are you willing to do about it? Are you willing to try something new and different to get unstuck?

2. FIGURE OUT WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED FEELING STUCK. Looking back on your life and recalling life events may help you gain insight as to what got you where you are now. Some honest and in-depth reflection may assist you in knowing what to do so that you can begin to move forward again.

3. ASK YOURSELF, “WHO HAVE I DISCONNECTED WITH?” Disconnection with others is often times a big part of the problem. Perhaps you’ve had an argument with a friend or family member and are now disconnected. You need to look at forgiving or seeking forgiveness and possible reconciliation.

4. LOOK FOR TRIGGERS. Review your past and look for major life events, challenges or disappointments that may have triggered the condition. Identifying and gaining understanding of how certain events have impacted you may help you see how you need to heal and move forward again. Maybe there is something in your life that you haven’t fully grieved.

5. EXAMINE YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE. Have you been consistent in your walk with the Lord? Are you fellowshipping with other believers? Are you spending consistent time in the Word and in prayer? Research shows that if you read the Bible 4 days of the week, it will impact your life. When you spend time in the Word and in prayer you can start to look at things from God’s perspective and seek His wisdom and guidance. Spending time with other believers can be a great source of comfort.

6. LOOK AT WHAT GOALS YOU HAVE SET FOR YOURSELF. If you haven’t made any goals, then set some and regularly monitor your progress. Make your goals realistic and achievable. Don’t set goals that are out of your control and depend on other people. Only set goals that you have the ability to make happen yourself, and take small doable steps toward those goals.

7. LOOK HONESTLY AT YOUR OBSTACLES. Take a look at your obstacles and break them down so that they are manageable. Perhaps you have huge debt that seems impossible to overcome. Start with one credit card at a time and pay it off and then work on another, and keep going. Maybe you need to start exercising. Start with something easy like walking for just a short time each day and then progressively increase your time.

8. EXAMINE THE MESSAGES THAT YOU TELL YOURSELF. Are they negative and critical? Replace them with Christ-centered messages. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6) Don’t dwell on past failures. Learn the lessons you can from them and move on. Consider what Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to as yet taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting was it behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

9. ASK YOURSELF, “WHO OR WHAT AM I BLAMING?” You’re not going to get anywhere if you stay the victim. Be honest about your mistakes. If you’ve been hurt by someone, you need to forgive that person, regardless of whether they seek your forgiveness, or are even aware of the hurt they caused you. The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:14, that if we forgive others, we will be forgiven. But, you also need to forgive to free yourself. If you are harboring a grudge or dwelling on a past trespass against you, you are the one who suffers. It’s like that saying, “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” You may find it easier to forgive the other person if you think of that person as sick rather than bad.

10. ASK YOURSELF, “WHERE IS MY HOPE?” If your answer is anyone or anything other than the Lord, then you need to re-think that. Believing God really does care and that He will work everything for good, even your own bad choices, helps to change our perspective. Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” And remember the truth of Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor death, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.”

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Steve Arterburn

Steve Arterburn is a nationally and internationally known speaker and has been featured in national media outlets such as Oprah, Good Morning America, CNN Live, The New York Times, ABC World News Tonight, GQ and Rolling Stone.Steve is a best-selling author of books such as Every Man’s Battle, Healing Is A Choice, and The 7-Minute Marriage Solution and recently co-authored Take Your Life Back with Dr. David Stoop, and The Mediterranean Love Plan, with wife Misty. Along with Dr. Dave Stoop, Steve edited and produced the #1 selling Life Recovery Bible. With over 8 million books in print he has been writing about God’s transformational truth since 1984, and has won three Gold Medallions for writing excellence.
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