Conflict Resolution Tips

If you are part of a team a group or a family – you are going to have conflict.  We all have unique ideas and perspectives and that is a good thing but with that comes conflict.  It is important to resolve conflicts that leave the group or team better off and still a productive unit.  But how do you do that?

What Causes Conflict:

• Different Personalities
• Stress
• Unique Perspectives

Let’s examine some tips for resolving conflicts that you can use in your home, at school or at work:

Define Acceptable Behavior – Remember those vows you made to your spouse?  Clear job descriptions can help avoid conflict so can a chore chart in your home.  When expectations are well defined and everyone knows the rules peace has a better chance.  You also can establish acceptable behavior when interacting with one another.  For example we will only speak politely to each other and we will value each person’s opinion even if we don’t agree.  An environment that feels open and safe allows everyone to flourish and feel valued.

Don’t Avoid Conflict – If you avoid conflict then anger and resentment can build and you may reach the breaking point where there is no return to a healthy relationship.  Nothing gets resolved when conflict is avoided.

Don’t Discount Bribery – Offering incentives for proper behavior or time management is acceptable.  You need your child to potty train.  Offering a reward every time they use the potty successfully is a proven method for success.  Governments often now offer monetary incentives to construction crews to beat their projected time lines.  This has also proved effective and successful for all parties.

Start With a Compliment – A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.  Mary Poppins knew what she was talking about.  Point out a good quality or performance and then discuss where improvement could be made.  Every person has strengths and weaknesses.  Praising a strength helps you accept a criticism.

Don’t Abuse Your Authority – Don’t intimidate or bully someone else. When you need to keep a group of people functioning as a whole it is better that they behave from a position of love rather than fear.  Fear can stifle people to not perform at all.

Open Communication – Collaborate & Compromise – Collaboration allows all parties in the conflict come up with a shared solution that is acceptable to all parties.  If you can make this happen it is usually a win for all involved.  By fostering open communication you allow all parties to speak and be heard.  This creates trust and a willingness to work together.  The parties involved need to be mature and willing to compromise in order to make this viable. It would be nice if governing bodies were better at this.

Act Decisively And Quickly – The longer poor performance or inappropriate behavior lasts the harder it will be to correct it successfully without the parties involved feeling you are changing the rules in the middle of the game.  And no one wants an unfair playing field.

Conclusion:

The goal is to stop fighting and start cooperating.  Sounds simple but usually isn’t.

As long as there are people who need to work together their will be conflict.  All relationships require effort.

Whether conflict happens at work or home, with your co-workers, spouse or children you can resolve issues if you are willing to: check your ego, listen to where you understand the problem and cooperate with others to find a solution that works for all parties.