Going through a miscarriage can be of the most agonizing experiences in a woman’s life–and one of the hardest to open up about. Aela Mass writes a refreshingly forgiving piece of why we may feel pressured to “come out” and tell others what happened, and why it’s completely okay not to. Have Facebook and Twitter conditioned us to be open books about subjects we might otherwise keep to ourselves? Aela discusses the tendency for our generation to use social media to wrap a web of intimate experiences from others around us, finding comfort in our shared joys and sorrows, and how it’s completely normal to want to partake in that kind of sharing.

But she also stresses that it is equally normal and acceptable to close the cover on your book, put a dog’s ear on that page of your story, and keep it close to your heart. These words and this article may come as a welcome relief to a woman who has been feeling pressured or guilty for not labeling herself publicly as a survivor, but who is still a warrior nonetheless.

Key Points:

  • 1Fertility struggles are extremely intimate and are not the concerns of those that are not intimate with you.
  • 2Your personal life is not everyone’s business. When you are struggling it is acceptable to guard your emotions and heart,
  • 3Many women do struggle with miscarriages. They feel less valued and their self worth can be damaged.

Many say there’s a looming silence because of the shame associated with miscarriage. I think that is partly true. Sure, many women might feel shame because it’s not something we’re always talking about.


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