Being A Better Man In Bed

Being A Better Man In Bed

  1. Don’t start in the bedroom. Start by speaking her love language.  If you don’t know what that is, well, it could be a reason there is trouble in the bedroom.  She might like you doing work for her.  She might like non-sexual touch.  She might like to spend time together doing things.  There are plenty of ways you can speak love into her heart without using words.  Start doing it and you will probably find out she is much more open to you in every area.
  2. Your most important sex organs are your eyeballs. Too often we men do everything but sit down each day for a few minutes and look her in the eye and listen to what she is saying, hear what is on her heart, and understand what is important to her.  When we do that, that gaze clears out a lot of irritation and resentment and seems to hit the re-boot key on the relationship.  Do it on a consistent basis and you should see her more willing to listen to you and hear your needs and desires and want to try to meet them.
  3. In the Seven Minute Marriage Solution, I stress how important it is that you go back to ways of having fun that you may have left behind. When the relationship was fresh you had fun together.  You went on dates.  Perhaps like my wife and me, you danced.  We dance in a huge ballroom full of people full of life and action and fun.  We also dance in malls if the mall music is good.  I think a huge key to her showing you a good time in bed is you showing her a good time with date nights and making fun and romance a priority.
  4. If you use pornography it is not helping the situation. In fact, it is hurting it.  Pornography is about you performing a sex act on yourself.  I’m not saying that you are weird or perverted if you do, but when you do, sex is just an act all about your equipment on the front of your body so you can get relief or a release.  I’ve heard it said that it’s like giving yourself a big hug.  That may be why it is so difficult to make love to your wife vs. just wanting to have an act of sex with her for your own pleasure.  Also, men that are compulsively using pornography find it difficult to be satisfied with a real live human being.  It is hard for you to fuse love and sex and only be satisfied with a pornographic image that won’t demand anything of you or judge your performance.  Thank about pleasing her instead of pleasing yourself.
  5. “Ladies First” is a tradition that certainly can help you in the bedroom. After you have an orgasm you are ready to totally relax and perhaps fall asleep.  She does not have that point of no return like we men do and she does not have the instant desire for sleep.  And very few woman climax during intercourse.  So one of the changes that makes a huge difference is when a man’s priority is to allow her to experience pleasure and orgasm before he does.  Try it and see if after she has climaxed her sex organs are not much more ready to receive you making it that much more comfortable and pleasurable.  And over time you become a lot more fulfilled watching her respond to your caring ways than when you just take care of yourself and move on.
  6. Be sure you clean yourself up before getting in bed with her. That means a shower and a shave.  You want your face to be gentle on her skin.  You also want to explore where all of her erogenous zones are, and she does have quite a few you may have never taken the time to discover.  They may be in places like her elbow, insider her arm or calf, the back of her neck, or