We think of lonely people as being more isolated and having less social contacts then most.  But that is FALSE.  Research shows that … people who report themselves as being lonely have more social contacts than people who say they are not lonely.  Dr. Dave Stoop and Dr. Jill Hubbard talk about chronic loneliness: what research shows; what lonely people think; and finally how to break away from chronic loneliness.

Can you still be lonely while surrounded by people everyday.  Absolutely.  Physical contact is different from emotional contact.  Loneliness comes from a lack of emotional connection.

Lonely People:

Are in pain.

Can’t make meaningful connections with others.

Delegitimize the connections that they do have.

Have unrealistic expectations of their interactions.

Are hyper sensitive to signs of rejection or disinterest.

Discount their relationships with others.

Often have negative self-talk.  (I am a loser, nobody likes me)

Everyone wants to be known.  We all want to have people in our life that care about our existence.

Three Components To Connecting With Others

  • 1Be Available
  • 2Be Responsive
  • 3Be Accepting

Everyone experiences loneliness from time to time.  But if you are suffering from chronic loneliness that is different.  Chronic loneliness can lead to depression.  But depression and loneliness are not the same.

Action Steps to Breakout of Loneliness:

Get out where people are that has meaning to you.  Example church or a hobby you enjoy (book club).

Engage other people in regular encounters.  Talk to the lady at the checkout line.  Make eye contact with others when waiting in line.

Ask someone something about themselves.

Volunteer in an organization

Join a life group at your church.

Join a recovery group.

 

Remember:  Thoughts, feelings and self-talk can mislead us.  If you need help breaking out of the loneliness trap, call New Life today.

New Life Ministries has a nationwide network of licensed mental health professionals who are ready to help! Click here if you’re considering counseling.  Just the right help may be right around the corner. http://newlife.com/counselors/?SOURCE=MKTHS

Do you need help getting connected?
Join us at one of our Weekend Workshops.
You will laugh, learn, and by God’s grace be transformed.
800-NEWLIFE | newlife.com

 

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