New Life TV Video – Parenting #2

Still looking for good parenting tips after the first video…more help is here.  When it comes to parenting no one is perfect and no one has all the answers but listen along with some experts to get some helpful tips and tricks, so you can have parenting success.

Perceiving Their Meaning –

When dealing with our children’s behavior we need to find the meaning behind the behavior they are exhibiting.  What is the message they are trying to communicate – they may not realize what it is either.

A child’s bad behavior can mean:

• They need more support from us.
• They need us to move closer to them.
• They are testing their security.

Bad behavior can be a security question.

When there are no boundaries your children will feel insecure.  Even if the boundaries you set cause your child to react negatively – boundaries make all of us feel secure.  Children need to feel safe.

Give lots of concrete praise. 

Concrete praise over specific accomplishments is more meaningful than generalized “You’re Super” kinds of praise.

Partner Participation - 

• Partner With Your Spouse
• Partner With Your Child
• Partner With Other Parents – Talk with and know your child’s friend’s parents.  Share with each other what you and they see happening with your kids.

You need a support community – people who know you and want what is best for your child.  This is not for you to play the comparison game this for mutual encouragement – building each other up.

Blended Families - 

First do not pretend that this will be easy and this is a bad idea most of the time.

First both partners must accept the imperfect reality that you will (initially) love your biological child more than the other spouse’s children.  This natural and normal.  Kids can spot a faker, so be honest and real.

You are always going to favor your biological child.  – Give each other permission to do that. When there is permission to do that then that issue goes away.  Often times you have been with your children longer than you have been with the spouse.

The new spouse cannot become your sole focus.  You must still protect the child at this transition time and everyone in the relationship must be working toward coming together as a new whole.

Don’t fake the love let the bonding happen naturally.

Let the parent of the biological child be the primary disciplinarian.  One day the other spouse will be equal in this but don’t force this issue.

Conflict Between the Parents –

Even in families with married parents with just children created in this marriage, the two parents will not see circumstances, behavior or discipline in the same way.  You should expect conflict.

Talk about your differences in private.  You don’t want to fight in front of the kids.  You don’t want to show division in front of the kids.  This can produce insecurity for your children.