Parenting isn’t simple and it has the potential to make everybody look stupid. Laugh along with 3 experts as they discuss the in and outs of successful parenting.
Parenting The Toddler Years: The foundational issue is control and power! As soon as your child can make some choices it is important to let them make them. Start teaching them early and build that independence in them slowly.
Principle: Fill your child’s day with as many choices as possible – but you the parent limit the choices to what is OK with you. Only give them choices that you will accept. So either way they choose you are OK with the choice. Allowing them to have some power when it doesn’t matter to you what they choose is critical. Then when you need their cooperation they are much more likely to go along with you.
Let them pick what shirt to wear – give them two choices that you are OK with whatever they choose.
Give them two choices of vegetables – and because they get to pick they are more likely to eat them without a fight.
THEN when you can’t give them a choice – you can remind them of all the choices that they have gotten to pick in that day – and now you are picking. This seems fair and usually works.
Teenagers require some different skills sets. During the teenage years the brain spikes with dopamine – and that cooperative younger child may start chasing after fun and pleasure. In order to successfully parent a teen you need to spend some quality time with them on a regular basis. Make it intentional. Show interest in their life.
Get over the idea you can be perfect – focus on doing the best you can and remember kids have wills and minds of their own. We often find we grieve when we see deficits in our children.
Single parents may be dealing with an absentee parent OR may be dealing with someone who is working against your parenting. Remember communicating with your child on a regular basis will help.
All Children Need:
Predictable Parenting – makes a child feel secure
Peculiar Communication – make your form of communication unique to the child you are talking with based on their humor and interest.
Patient Endurance – Allows a child to know that they can count on you.
Practical Exhibitions –
Positive Reinforcement – catch your kids doing something good and heap on the praise but also heap on the praise just because everyone needs a cheerleader. Not just based on behavior or accomplishment but based on who they are.
Protective Restriction – We all need boundaries and restrictions from unhealthy things.
Progressive Freedom – the more responsible they are the more freedom they get.
Parenting isn’t about your feelings it is about the character of your kids.
- 1Purposeful parenting is helping a child find their place and purpose and giving them what they need to accomplish that.
- 2What works for 1 child does not mean it will work for your next one, or your neighbors.
- 3We need to prepare children for independence and the real world from early on.
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