Thanksgiving is right around the corner and that kicks off the start of many Family Gatherings at our house, which can be great fun and also cause great stress.
Every family, no matter how close and loving has some sort of dysfunctional aspect. It is just part of being human. We aren’t perfect therefore all relationships won’t be perfect. The holidays can add their own extra burdens to getting along with each other.
- Extra Food Preparation
- Hosting / Cleaning House
- Buying Gifts
- Difficult Relatives
Each of these brings with it its own burdens. In order to help us cope with difficult family let us look at some healthy tips for positive family gatherings.
HEALTHY TIPS FOR POSITIVE FAMILY GATHERINGS
Don’t ignore dysfunctional aspects of your own family. Your Mother had a favorite, your Brother an addiction, your Grandpa was mean; whatever they may be. Admitting everything isn’t perfect is good.
Viewing your family dynamic as if you were watching a sitcom can help you see things without the overwhelming feelings your personal situation causes you.
And it is also OK that some relatives are easier for you to get along with than others.
Don’t expect perfection from others or yourself. Giving everyone permission to fail sets the bar low and your gathering will turn out better than you thought.
Forgive others their missteps just as you want to be forgiven.
Holiday celebrations are not the time to confront each other on hurts current or past. This is a time to celebrate all the good things about your family and the season.
Use this as a chance to catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while and get to know the new members of your extended family; those married in or just born. Make a list of questions ahead of time to give you a task and keep you focused on those you desire to connect with.
Do not drink too much alcohol. Alcohol relaxes your ability to think before you talk and that can cause all kinds of issues. The less alcohol the better.
“Reasonably Happy” is our family’s theme for the holidays. This takes the perfection aspect off of everyone. As long as you are reasonably happy with the food, facilities, presents, and people we call that a success.
While we are looking at families; what does a healthy family look like?
In a healthy family all members feel:
- Free to share their opinions
Good luck with all your family interactions this holiday season!
Reference: This Is Us /Dysfunctional Northviewchurch.us
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