Real resentment over real damage by a real person produces a justifiable resentment, and it becomes such a huge part of your life that it feels like a vulture sitting on top of you – a dark and dangerous presence that affects everything you do.
If the resentment was not justifiable, someone could just talk you out of it. A friend could tell you things he or she has told others who had a bad attitude:
- Stop being so negative
- Look at the bright side of things
- Stop seeing the glass half empty
- Start thinking more positively
- Look for the good in people
- Try accepting people for who they are.
These are things people say to someone who just needs to make a few changes to make things more comfortable and be able to enjoy life more.
But none of these things apply to you because you have something to hang on to. There is a date and a person and a trauma that really happened. It is your Auschwitz, and those who know of your terrible ordeal, support your feelings. That is the problem – no one questions your feelings. Everyone feels horrible for you. So it is easy for you to hang on to the resentment. Anyone would, but you can’t.
You can’t, because it is eating you alive. It is your own internal terrorist that is destroying your life, keeping you from living the best life possible. It is hurting your relationship with God and with others. You will be firmly rooted to your past and to your abuse as long as the justifiable resentment grows within you. Everything you do in life will lean up against your grudge. It will come to define who you are and will limit what you can become.
Although it might be very difficult to imagine, you really can be free from that justifiable resentment. You can let it go and experience the healing power of forgiveness. You can choose to heal a very troubled area of your soul by choosing to walk through a path of forgiveness. And if you take this path, something very amazing is going to happen to you one day.
One day you are going to awaken and realize that everything in your life has changed. You will sense that you are no longer rooted in your past.
One day you are going to awaken and realize that everything in your life has changed. You will sense that you are no longer rooted in your past. You will realize that what once defined your life and your inner thoughts is no longer relevant to how you live your life. You won’t forget what happened, but you will be aware of it with the magnitude of a fly you just swoosh away. That little fly is nothing compared to the vulture that now sits atop your head, talons deeply implanted in your heart. One day you will awaken and that vulture will no longer be there – and you will be free!
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Struggling with forgiveness, here is an audio on it from the New Life Speaker series.